Closing Thoughts on 2020

This year is not what I expected it to be.  Oh, I knew it would be busy, but little did I expect it would be crazy-busy.  Hopes for any sort of balance, graced with purposeful contemplation and writing, went out the window pretty quickly.  As they say, life comes at you fast, and the demands of the moment easily elevate the "have-to's" ahead of the "want-to's".  As one who believes that a little solitude and reflection is essential to one's mental and spiritual well-being, it seems there has been precious little of that in the past 12 months, so please pardon me if this first paragraph is a bit self-indulgent.  Introductions are not always easy to write.

 

Charles M. Schulz (of Peanuts fame) once wrote:  "It's hard to convince people when you're just staring out the window that you're doing your hardest work of the day."  I entered 2020 with high hopes to start developing the framework of a book, but the space for necessary contemplation never seemed to materialize.  Sure, there have been brief, stolen moments, followed by flashes of inspiration which I capture any way I can, often by using my phone to take a quick picture of an interesting paragraph in a book I'm reading, followed by typing up a bubble of thought as a draft email to myself.  The intent of course, is to further develop these thoughts into what Washington Irving might call a "sketch".  But then the current of events rips me away, and I never get back to "staring out the window" or developing the thoughts that come.

 

It's not like there hasn't been source material this year.  We've had a runaway virus, lockdowns, social, racial, and political strife, and an accelerating disintegration of confidence in our institutions.  The spirit of division runs rampant, and the weapon of choice is the broad brush.  I have chosen to avoid writing on such specific topics, not because I lack for opinion, but because I have learned over the years that our ability to see and hear others clearly is often diminished in the white hot passions of the moment. 

 

In all my writing and teaching over the years, my one interest was to create the conditions by which the hearer or reader would think, examine, and perhaps discover for themselves a new understanding.  My objective is not to persuade anyone to my point of view, but rather to reveal that there are other points of view.  It is up to the other to consider and determine for themselves what they think, what they believe.  It is the story of my own faith journey - I don't need to persuade anyone that the Gospel is true, I just need to share it and model it, and let the Holy Spirit handle the revelation. 

 

For me, the "standoff" approach described above is becoming all the more critical as the tribal mentality rages.  I have come to believe that "presupposition" is the bane of human interaction in the digital age.  It goes beyond just having a worldview - it is me, bringing to bear that perspective, with all its assumptions and biases, to my interactions with others.  Likewise, it is others, doing the same in their interactions with me.  But too often, rather than dialogue and engagement, we get a battle in which, as stated above, the weapon of choice is the broad brush. 

 

I don't mind disagreements, I really don't, because I know I have my own presuppositions that deserve to be challenged.  What I do mind is the damage we permit to our relationships and to our witness.  In a year when in truth we have needed one another more than ever, it seems we have chosen to not merely accept division, but to encourage it.  I'm not suggesting we should pursue a false unity - far from it.  But I do think a greater measure of grace and humility is warranted, such that we don't allow a difference of opinion to be elevated to the epochal event we so often make it to be. 

 

2020 has been a difficult year, and as I write this day, I anticipate 2021 to reflect a continuation of that trend - more difficult days are ahead, this we know.  But I remain hopeful that we can and will persevere, understanding that perseverance is more than survival - it is a labor of love, sacrifice, and prayer.  Show us the way, oh Lord, we pray.  Amen.

Thought-Bubbles, Sketches, and Words Yet Unwritten

In Pixar's Ratatouille, the great Peter O'Toole voiced the character of Anton Ego, a food critic who, toward the end of the movie, had this to say about his nemesis, Chef Gusteau:

"In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*."

When I was younger, having realized that writing was to be central to nearly every endeavor I would ever pursue, I fell into the common notion that "I should write a book."  So common, and so cliché.  In those days before the internet, I labored to get my hands on those old "How to Get Published" books that contained advice and lists upon lists of publishers.  Of course, I had no idea what to write about, and the thought became intimidating, so I put it away.

Of course, trying to extend Anton Ego's perspective into this realm is an imperfect application.  Maybe not just anyone can write a book, but today, where self-publishing in the digital age puts lie to the notion that authorship is restricted in any way, fashion, or form, the question turns to not whether anyone can write a book, but whether anyone can write a book that others might actually read and enjoy.

I still would like to write a book, but until recently, I have struggled with the form it might take.  While I'm not above the employment of embellishment to relate an experience, the experience itself must be essentially true.  I am incapable of creating a pure work of fiction, as all my imaginings are derivative.  Similarly, there is simply no topic or area of interest that so holds me, or for which I possess any singular knowledge, that would enable me to produce a unique work of non-fiction or composition.  Blogging worked for a long time, allowing for the production of short, topical utterings that for a while fulfilled my compulsion to write.  I write about things that strike my fancy in the moment, things that pass through my mind like little thought-bubbles that entertain and amuse me, things that I feel need to be said and thus incumbent for me to say them.

It wasn't until I began to read Washington Irving's The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent., in which his stories of "Rip Van Winkle" and "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" appear, that a possible framework presented itself.  From what I've read, compilations of essays are not looked upon favorably by publishers, unless thematic or memoirs of a particular bent.  I don't know that I care so much about publishers.  But the concept of sketches appeals to me, and with the right organization and flavor, maybe this fleeting notion of legitimate authorship might not be so fleeting.  I cannot help but be encouraged, and even stimulated, by this quote from Irving at the end of the sketch called "The Christmas Dinner":

"Methinks I hear the questions asked by my graver readers:  'To what purpose is all this - how is the world to be made wiser by this talk?'  Alas! Is there not wisdom enough extant for the instruction of the world?  And if not, are there not thousands of abler pens laboring for its improvement? - It is so much pleasanter to please than to instruct - to play the companion rather than the preceptor.

What, after all, is the mite of wisdom that I could throw into the mass of knowledge; or how am I sure that my sagest deductions may be safe guides for the opinions of others?  But in writing to amuse, if I fail, the only evil is in my own disappointment.  If, however, I can by any lucky chance, in these days of evil, rub out one wrinkle from the brow of care, or beguile the heavy heart of one moment of sorrow; if I can now and then penetrate through the gathering film of misanthropy, prompt a benevolent view of human nature, and make my reader more in good humor with his fellow-beings and himself, surely, surely, I shall not then have written entirely in vain."

Maybe there's hope for me yet, this notion of writing a book, or at least compiling one.  In the meantime, I will simply enjoy the exercise, and entertain myself in blowing thought-bubbles and writing sketches.  And if anyone happens to read and enjoy them as well, then "surely, surely, I shall not then have written entirely in vain."