Fascinating

While I certainly don't grasp the technology behind this, I admit to being completely fascinated by this accomplishment from scientists at IBM. The image below purports to be a genuine snapsnot of a single pentacene molecule.


The article does not dive into the details of the science, but it is remarkable just how similar our textbook representation of carbon-based molecular structures resemble what may be the actual physical structure of the molecule.

As my father likes to say from time to time, Way cool!

Drowning in Data

Sometimes, the best laid plans go awry. Whereas my goal is to exercise my writing muscle at least every few days, this week found me drowning in the depths of a meaningless data analysis required by my current task. I struggle with tasks that require delivery for the sake of meeting a contract, when I know that the underlying data is essentially useless in terms of quality. You can put a bow on it, and spray some air freshener, but in the end dung will always retain its intrinsic qualities.

In the realm of scientific analysis, test and evaluation, the appetite for collecting data is insatiable. So often, we fail to identify what data we need, and in the absence of a focused plan, we collect all that we can. The result is predictable: mountains of data that likely mean little to our purpose, but require perpetual storage just in case its importance is someday discovered. And so we must take great care in the choices we make for storing that data.

This related article in the Wall Street Journal talks about this challenge. Scientific technologies have advanced our data collection capabilities far beyond what have ever been possible before. Digital data collection holds the promise of archiving vast sums of human knowledge, but the Achilles heel remains the storage mechanism. Indeed, a simple forgotten password, or the fact that common digital storage mediums only have a shelf life of 5-20 years can mean that vast sums of research and effort could be lost and made useless forever. A simple example: in my house, we have an external drive connected to our satellite receiver so that we can save off programs for future viewing. For reasons unknown, however, that drive is no longer recognized by the receiver, meaning that an entire season of ABC's Lost is inaccessible (it's okay, I'll wait for the DVD set). But I also have had numerous important floppy disks that have decayed, and are thus useless. So while the digital revolution has made information more accessible than ever before, it has also made that same information much more vulnerable to decay, corruption and irretrievable loss.

In the long run, no scientific data can outlast the storage media that contains it, unless it can be accurately recopied and reliably re-authenticated. Many computer CDs, DVDs and flash drives last only a decade or so. The oldest known star atlas, inscribed on a scroll discovered in Dunhuang, China, has survived for more than 1,000 years. It might have been traced from an even older star map.

I'll take a real book over a Kindle any day. A book will always hold the promise of treasure; CDs, DVDs and flash drives - debatable. To the point:

"Digital information lasts forever -- or five years," says RAND Corp. computer analyst Jeff Rothenberg, "whichever comes first."

Additional reading: RAND's "Digitial Preservation: The uncertain future of saving the past."

I love the subtitle.

Civic Awakening?

I have watched with interested skepticism the response of concerned citizens to their congressional representatives this past month at these so-called "town halls." Setting aside the faux "shock-and-awe" that the media tends to concoct or deride whenever something unexpected happens, I endeavored to observe whether the apparent push-back against rampant government intervention was a sustainable awakening or simply another brief moment of indignation destined to slip back into grousing acquiescence. It has been said of Ronald Reagan that he had confidence in the common sense and wisdom of the American people. As a cynic, I confess to generally holding the opposite view. It has been my experience that the only freedom most people care about is their own. I suspect that most people have at least a moderate distrust of government despite its necessity, but that it is less an institutional distrust as opposed to a class distinction. By this I mean that while we recognize that the government exists to ensure an orderly society, we generally have little faith in the political or bureaucratic classes to manage the effort. The best managers in the workplace are those that bring out the best in their employees, providing guidance and setting goals to help the employee excel in his career while avoiding the instinct to micromanage and control the outcome. Fear and dissatisfaction surface every time someone takes the reins who believes they know better than you how to do your job, what you need to manage your life, and has the authoritative power to exercise that control - thus limiting your freedom to grow, make mistakes and learn from them, and essentially make your own decisions.

For the past few weeks, various pundits and commentators have been trying to explain the phenomena of these "angry" town halls. Troy Senik, a former speechwriter, makes the assertion that the awakening is real (emphasis mine):

"If a revolution takes root throughout the country and no one in Washington hears it, does the revolution exist? In our representative system, the answer is yes - and members of both parties ought to start paying attention if they hope to survive the 2010 midterm elections intact. ...

There's a lesson here for both parties. Healthcare isn't failing because of Obama's weaknesses or his opponent's strength. It is failing because the proposal misapprehends the American character. On a moral level, there are sacrifices of both liberty and responsibility that the American people aren't willing to make. And on a practical level, citizens who enjoy a world of instant convenience in everything from their music downloads to their airplane tickets aren't willing to entertain a debate about whether it's better to ration health care on a Soviet model or a Canadian model.

A revolt is afoot in the nation. The media and the political class might not understand the appeal of the Ron Pauls and Glenn Becks of the world. But even many of those who disagree with Paul and Beck on the specifics understand the draw. Something is resurfacing. Americans are increasingly unafraid to say the word "liberty". Politicians who don't share that trait may want to start updating their résumés."

Color me skeptical. I thought America was on the verge of an awakening during the aftermath of 9/11. How quickly that unity felt apart! America is in the throes of a serious bout of attention deficit disorder. While every now and then the focus is there to collectively push back against those who infringe upon our freedoms, it is simply a matter of time before we slip back into cynical complacency and allow the government classes to do whatever they wish. People only get riled up when their personal freedom is endangered, and even that has limits. I truly wish I could believe otherwise. I'm not an activist, and I'm not a rabble-rouser. I don't think we need another "revolution." What we need is civility and clarity to create the conditions in which people may choose to excel (or not excel) in whatever directions they wish to go in life. Should there be boundaries? Of course - society requires boundaries in order to sustain the resources which enable an environment that creates conditions for that society to flourish. Is that even possible? The history of civilization is one of waves, highs and lows, but in our limited perspective, always one of steady incline and eventual progress to new heights. But the laws of decay are generally inevitable. The question of the sustainability of a free society against the micromanaging tendencies of government creates a continuing tension whose outcome has yet to be determined.

Reagan, in his 1986 State of the Union Address, said this:

"Government growing beyond our consent had become a lumbering giant, slamming shut the gates of opportunity, threatening to crush the very roots of our freedom. What brought America back? The American people brought us back -- with quiet courage and common sense; with undying faith that in this nation under God the future will be ours, for the future belongs to the free."

Can the American people bring us back this time? Do they have "quiet courage and common sense" and faith that "the future belongs to the free"? Would that it were so, but I'm not holding my breath.

Spirit Lives On

For all the people who criticize NASA and its recent struggles to maintain and achieve a vision without going drastically over budget, you simply have to applaud those folks at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory who conceived and managed the Mars Rover program. The Spirit rover passed an incredible milestone yesterday, completing its 2000th day working on the surface of Mars. Spirit, and its companion rover Opportunity, continue to study the surface and composition of the Mars planet years longer than they were ever envisioned to survive. Granted, they have their challenges (Spirit's stuck in a sand trap), but that does nothing to diminish the incredible record of achievement that continues to this day, 5.5 years after their arrival on the Red Planet. Enthusiasts can keep track of progress here; they even have a Twitter-feed (I don't do Twitter, but I'm likely in the minority).

In other news, the President's Augustine Panel is coming to conclusion. This update from Rand Simberg highlights some of the possible conclusions that may find their way into the final report.

The good news is that for the first time a major panel of this sort has explicitly stated that the goal of having a human spaceflight program has to be for the ultimate settlement of space, and if we aren’t aiming toward that, there’s not much point. Also, for fans of sending humans to Mars, all of the options are designed with that end in mind, though probably not fast enough for them. The other good news is that the panel seems to strongly support commercial space and believes that the new policy should be much more supportive of it than NASA’s current plans. But for advocates of anything resembling the current four-year-old plan to do "Apollo on Steroids," with new launch and crew delivery systems dubbed “Constellation,” none of the options will be pretty.

Apparently the panel is supportive of the partial commercialization of launch services, which I believe holds the greatest promise of moving history beyond the confines of near-earth orbit. Unfortunately, NASA employment issues will continue to cloud the future of the space program, at least politically. But again, a rightly constructed partnership between NASA and space entrepreneurs may just be the ticket to realizing those dreams that brought people to NASA in the first place.

For now, Spirit and Opportunity live on. May that be true in more ways than one.

Snitch Box Goes Offline

Updating an earlier post, I find this to be good news (Politico):

Following a furor over how the data would be used, the White House has shut down an electronic tip box — flag@whitehouse.gov — that was set up to receive information on “fishy” claims about President Barack Obama’s health plan.

E-mails to that address now bounce back with the message: “The email address you just sent a message to is no longer in service. We are now accepting your feedback about health insurance reform via: http://www.whitehouse.gov/realitycheck.”

Clearly, this little venture backfired publicly, and the administration rightly took a good deal of flak from the issue. I know several people who "self-reported" their dissent to the proposed pathway towards nationalization of health care. While I chose not to (seemed a bit juvenile to me), I certainly sympathize with the sentiment.

So, while I applaud the administration from taking a step back on its citizen agitation scheme, I nevertheless remain bothered that the effort was made in the first place. Just because they pulled the snitch box doesn't "make it all better."

Painting with PETRA

After another intense week at the office, I found myself struggling to get moving this morning. As I have aged, I have found it difficult to sleep in for any good length of time. I'm usually awake by 7, and try in vain to rest in bed until 8, when I finally give up and head out to the kitchen to make some coffee. With all of the unfinished projects and weekly maintenance demands placed upon me by this house, summer weekends are rarely restful. But that's not all bad, because it keeps me active and not locked into my computer so much.

The past several months, I have been steadily working to complete the bonus room over the garage. Last weekend, I completed the remaining drywall repair and primed the closet. This morning, I began priming the room itself. I worked for about 5 hours, and intend to try to finish the task late tonight or tomorrow afternoon. Instead of working in silence, as is my wont to do, today I pulled out Petra Praise: The Rock Cries Out. Released 20 years ago, it was one of my favorite albums during my early years in the faith. Within minutes, the music accomplished what the coffee couldn't - shake the cobwebs out of my head. Or maybe it was the paint fumes. Either way, I found myself singing along to songs I know I haven't even thought about in 10 years, and I remembered every word.

Like many of the acts back in those days, Petra was primarily a ministry. In the late 90's and during much of this decade the Christian music genre took off as an industry, and frankly, after while I stopped paying attention. Too many groups with similar sounds, and a bit too much focus on glamour and celebrity for my tastes, though I'm sure God blesses people through them. I had the fortune of seeing Petra in concert a couple of times, and came away knowing each time that the music was simply the means to share the Truth.

Twenty years ago, ministry was new to me. It was a fresh, new horizon with a plethora of possibilities. Yet my understanding was limited to a naive mix of "what I can do for God" and "study the Bible" trapped within the context of institutional church. But more on this another time. For now, less thinking, and more Petra Praise:

The "M" Word - Prologue

Back in February of this year, I went back to my college alma mater, Auburn University, to attend a Wesley Foundation alumni retreat. I almost always enjoy my visits to Auburn, and reconnecting with friends can be a reviving experience. The theme of this retreat was somewhat unusual, however, in that participants broke up into small groups to discuss a series of questions posed by the facilitator - who collected the notes from our discussions but never presented them back to the participants at large. Basically, as I recall, the pastor leading the retreat was working on a personal quest and used us as a data source. I left the retreat somewhat disappointed, because of the lack of "conclusion." It was like reading Part I of a play, and never getting to Part II.

Since February, I have been going over and over the questions in my mind. In the nearly 16 years since I left college, 20 if you count my time spent at Wesley, I have experienced some amazing highs and devastating lows in ministry. These questions hit at an interesting time - a time in which I had to step back from active leadership in my church. The reasons are many. The questions are these:

1. What is your ministry?
2. Where are you right now?
3. Is it where you expected to be?
4. Is it better/worse/different than before?

Of course, there was a little more to it than that. The questions were asked in the context of the campus ministry experience and how it may differ from the local church experience. But the topic takes on an additional meaning for me, especially as I quickly approach the age of 40. Processing the experiences of the last 20 years of ministry and Christian service and leadership is something that is essential for me to do in order to move forward in a healthy manner. And while it is not my intent to psychoanalyze everything on the pages of this blog, I do think it worthwhile to use this forum to explore these questions. And while my answers and anecdotes will indeed be personal, I trust that the Lord will use it as He sees fit.

More to come.

15 Over

Sometimes, you just have to get away. Whether it be frustrations at the office or the craziness of our culture, you simply have to put some distance between yourself and whatever drains you spiritually and emotionally.

I took that opportunity today. Leaving work early, I headed out to a local driving range that features a short, 9-hole 29 par course. Taking advantage of a tip my brother-in-law gave me a few weeks ago, I used an adjusted grip that interlocks my hands more than I had previously. The result was probably the best day I've ever had swinging the irons. Granted, three 3-putts certainly didn't help my day, but I left the course feeling good about my performance.

Honestly, I felt good period. Having walked the 9 holes in the Alabama heat, I got a fair amount of exercise, fresh air and an unexpected respite from the burdens which usually weigh me down.

I'll never be a good golfer, but today, 15 over feels pretty good. As for all that other stuff, well, tomorrow will take care of itself.

Temperature Rising

This weekend, I tried to refrain from thinking about the realm of politics and the direction of our Nation by pouring my energies into prepping and priming the walls of my upstairs bonus room. I may not be a master craftsman (not even close), but there is a certain amount of pride in paying attention to detail and doing a job well, not to mention the masculine rush that comes with home repair and improvement. I ask for help (and hire experts) when I need to, but I'd much prefer to do it myself. You learn by doing, so to speak.

But alas, even as I immersed myself in finishing some drywall repair and priming the closet yesterday, in the back of my mind I continued to ponder recent events surrounding this healthcare debate and the deteriorating level of political discourse. Whereas there are unhinged, screaming partisans on each side of the aisle who speak not out of reason or logic but out of unpersuadable anger, it is a frightening prospect to witness this same behavior out of elected officials. Perhaps it is true that the political class is merely a reflection of the public at large. Debate is not about politely arguing the merits of a thing, it is now about defeating and humiliating your opponent. And when you have power, the less debate the better. Look no further at the townhall meetings that members of Congress are having with their constituents this summer. Consider the video linked in this piece in the Washington Times. Or consider this video about the happenings in St. Louis.

Glenn Reynolds has a column in today's Washington Examiner that reflects on the state of dialog and the shifting acceptance of what constitutes patriotic dissent (emphasis mine):

"Civility is fine, but those who demand it should show it. The Obama administration -- and its corps of willing supporters in the press and the punditry -- has set the tone, and they are now in a poor position to complain.

Whether they like it or not -- and the evidence increasingly tends toward "not" -- President Obama and his handlers need to accept that this is a free country, one where expressions of popular discontent take place outside the electoral process, and always have. (Remember Martin Luther King?)

What historians like Gordon Wood and Pauline Maier call "out-of-doors political activity" is an old American tradition, and in the past things have been far more "boisterous" than they are today.

Rather than demonizing today's protesters, perhaps they might want to reflect on how flimflams and thuggishness have managed to squander Obama's political capital in a few short months, and ponder what they might do to regain the trust of the millions of Americans who are no longer inclined to give the Obama administration the benefit of the doubt."

I am not an activist, but I do have strong opinions. Sometimes I voice them, but I try to so respectfully. But the temperature is rising. I see it in the office; I've seen it in the church. Righteous anger and action over legitimate injustice may sometimes result in peace and a just solution. But the anger we have witnessed over the last decade does not strike me as righteous, but rather a pernicious rage that threatens to consume otherwise reasonable people. De-escalation is unlikely, because our citizenry seems to have accepted adversarial posturing as the norm. Today, it is countercultural to be calm, dignified and courteous. It is also hard - intelligent conversation with an angry individual is difficult, if not impossible. I would like to believe that things will calm down eventually. I would like to have hope and faith that this Nation of ours can rise above this. I would like to be able to trust in the Office of the President, and those who occupy that position. But what am I to think when my President speaks like this about those who disagree with him?



And this from the lead editorial in the Examiner:

"We are witnessing something terribly ugly in America this summer. Obama is leading a campaign to shift our peaceful democratic process away from civil discussions of programs and candidates to using the power of the state to bully those who oppose the majority party's policy proposals. The threat may be as subtle as the fear of being reported by a neighborhood informant to the White House, or as overt as stick-wielding union toughs who might not approve of the way you ask your congressman a question."

A cooling off period would benefit everyone. Both sides of the political aisle have been warring for at least the past two decades. It's not uncommon in our history. But in the information age of instant media and full participation across the economic spectrum, any sign of truce will immediately be seen as weakness and will prompt the aggressor to exploit the moment. Tactics employed by the current administration makes them valid for use by the next administration. What foundation for trust remains?

I don't have to like a party's agenda. Elections have consequences. But true political discourse should have some ground rules. We do not elect our representatives to lord over us. We elect them to represent us, and the best interests of our Nation.

On this Sunday afternoon, I find myself wrestling with my thoughts and fears of the longevity of our Republic. And the conflict within rests on two mutually exclusive requests that somehow seem bound together in this moment:

On the one hand: Dona nobis pacem.

On the other: "Don't Tread on Me."

Disturbed and Uneasy

I said in a previous post that while I follow national politics, I really don't want to blog too often about it. Nevertheless, I am deeply disturbed and uneasy about tactics under display by the current administration. In particular, the overt suggestion in this White House blog post inviting people to report "fishy" behavior, opinions and activities that oppose the White House position on health care reform.

For reasons expressed well by both Senator John Cornyn and the Washington Examiner's Byron York, the idea that the White House is directly inviting people to "report" on people expressing their First Amendment rights in opposition to the latest majority party initiative strikes me as McCarthy-esque. As with the House Committee on Un-American Activities, even the idea of the White House collecting information on individuals simply because they are exercising their right to political dissent represents a serious breach of decorum and a slap in the face to the founding principles of the American venture. The same can be said of the "enemies list" developed by President Richard Nixon, with the help of one Charles Colson.

The problem with such lists, especially by a government body, is that it creates the possibility that a government can target its own citizens for politically motivated reasons. Indeed, this was also the same kind of concern I had about the Patriot Act, and one of the reasons it was such a hot topic of debate in the aftermath of 9/11.

If what York says is true, that such a "list" or "database" is not expressly illegal, and further, is permanent because of the requirement that email logs are considered Presidential Records that can never be legally destroyed, then all it takes is for someone who disagrees with you politically to decide to email the White House, and you will forever be on a political hit list (regardless if anything actually happens to you).

This administration has openly invited Americans to report on their neighbors over matters of political dissent. Unlike the Patriot Act or reporting on suspicious behavior, political dissent is not criminal behavior. At least, not yet. Such activity is more in character with totalitarian states.

That's not the America I know.

Touching the Right Notes

Ted Dekker has become one of my favorite authors. A fitting complement to Frank Peretti, Dekker made his mark in suspense thrillers with deep Christian context, sometimes allegorical and sometimes overt. And while that label may prompt some to spurn his works, I personally think that would be a mistake. I am convinced that even the unbeliever would enjoy his novels, for Dekker's storytelling is superb. I am very much looking forward to the release of Green.

Reading his blog the other day, I caught this little nugget of insight:

"It has been said that words are one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind. In that they allow us to scratch the surface of an idea and to share that experience with a limited group of others… yes, words are invaluable. But without the incarnation of idea, words are hardly more than mathematical symbols. They are, in fact, rather blunt instruments that often get in the way of true magic."

Indeed, I resonate with this. While storytelling such as that created by the likes of bestselling authors is far beyond my reach, the essence of using words to convey Truth in ways that touch the heart and spirit of another is clearly what I aspire to do. I marvel at those who do it well. When my 9-year old son plays the piano, he does so with a touch that I can never hope to master. Writers who are gifted with the ability to convey the experience of an idea in a manner that fully engages the reader do so by using words and phrases to touch all the right notes.

Using words to express the facts of Truth isn't all that difficult. But using words to convey the power and spirit of Truth, getting past all the defenses and arguments that seek to distort, that takes something more: it takes a gift from above.

A Future Frontier (Updated)

As far back as 8 years old, I've been interested in astronomy and space. I remember sitting outside in the dark of night studying the constellations and the moon through a pitiful excuse for a telescope. Like so many red-blooded American boys, I was caught up in the glamour of the space program. Enraptured by the danger and the thrill of pushing thresholds into a new frontier, the brave adventurer would seek out to discover and conquer the unknown, exploring the cosmos simply because he hadn't been there yet. I left much of the fantasy behind I as grew older, perhaps in small part because of the realities of Challenger, and more recently Columbia. But the wonder remains with each new image from the Hubble telescope and the live feeds of scientific discovery from our probes on Mars.

I recently read a very long article by Rand Simberg in the New Atlantis journal. It discusses at length the evolution of America's space program in the context of its vision, as influenced by politics and society. It delves into great detail the dichotomy of pushing frontiers while chained to an unwieldy bureaucracy that defines almost every government program. As a government contractor, I can identify directly with the challenges of trying to meet too many requirements with one solution, which increases the cost and likelihood for failure to reach objectives. It is indeed a complicated matter, made worse when the business model of the organization (designed to keep people employed indefinitely) runs into conflict with fiscal responsibility and mission focus.

The thesis of the article basically suggests that the technological advancement to make us a space-faring people would be better realized by private sector entrepreneurs (with a spirit of adventure and a profit motive) combined with a government enabler that facilitates their activities. As Mr. Simberg states in his article [bold emphasis mine]:

To get past the misperceived lessons of the past four decades and to develop a “safe, innovative, affordable, and sustainable” plan for manned spaceflight, we must begin by stating plainly why we should go into space, for the why gives shape to the how.

The United States should become a spacefaring nation, and the leader of a spacefaring civilization.

That means that access to space should be almost as routine (if not quite as affordable) as access to the oceans, and with similar laws and regulations. It means thousands, or millions, of people in space—and not just handpicked government employees, but private citizens spending their own money for their own purposes. It means that we should have the capability to detect an asteroid or comet heading for Earth and to deflect it in a timely manner. Similarly it means we should be able to mine asteroids or comets for their resources, for use in space or on Earth, potentially opening up new wealth for the planet. It means that we should explore the solar system the way we did the West: not by sending off small teams of government explorers—Lewis and Clark were the extreme exception, not the rule—but by having lots of people wandering around and peering over the next rill in search of adventure or profit.

The space program was born out of Cold War motives. The American West was tamed by the private individual seeking fortune, liberty, and adventure. We view NASA as the only permissible embodiment of progress into the final frontier, but maybe it shouldn't be that way. Ironically, the criticisms that NASA costs too much aren't unfounded, but it is precisely because of its organizational limitations and business model. But NASA could be more cost effective if its mission were better partnered with private sector initiatives - not more contractors, mind you, but completely private space technology ventures. While government has enormous resources it can put to bear to just about anything (courtesy the taxpayers), government in general is not the vehicle to push us into new frontiers. But it can enable others, and thereby achieve goals previously out of reach.

There is always more to discover about Creation. I'm not sold on the idea that humanity's survival and immortality depends on conquering the galaxy, however. But to have the liberty to pursue the heavens, to discover the origins, to learn more about that which God has created ... why not? Why not encourage my 9 year old son, who watched with fascination the live feed from NASA as the Mars probe landed on the surface to begin its search for evidence of water? Why should his passion for science and math and space be limited by the constraints of government organization or grants?

Government should not be the arbiter of individual dreams and discovery. But it can be an enabler that promotes and encourages such progress.

UPDATE: Here is a great example of the opportunities that exist for entrepreneurs. An ion-engine that could shorten the journey to Mars from 6 months to 39 days!

Past Words

Years ago I used to run an online devotional ministry called Encounters!. Starting out as a weekly email devotion, I ended up creating a website, had a distribution somewhat less than 175 people, and basically poured out into words what the Lord was speaking into my own heart. Back then, I was considerably less jaded about certain aspects of ministry. The last few days, I've been looking back over some of those devotionals. It was interesting, because looking back at things I've previously written is not something I usually do. I immediately recognized them as words I put on the page, yet at the same time I got the sense they were written by someone long gone. A decade of perspective and experience will do that to you, I suppose.

In my archives there are also seven years of Bible study material I produced while serving as teacher of an adult Sunday School class. Again, I found the same phenomena - I instinctively knew the words were mine, yet they felt almost alien to me. The words given to me, and the Spirit in which they were written, were for a particular purpose in a particular place at a particular time in history. They were words written to teach Truth and to inspire belief. But I'm not sure I was the target. Perhaps that's part of the reason they feel so strange. The spiritual benefit to me was not the words, but the moment with God I experienced in producing them. It was part of a passion for the written word - a passion I wish to reawaken and hence the reason for having this blog.

Writing was always my creative outlet, along with symphonic and marching bands. I shut down those activities years ago out of fatigue and a yearning for new direction, but I never replaced them with anything else creative. I've spent most of this decade in the world of "have to". It was a choice (or series of choices) I'm coming to view as a mistake. The price my soul has paid for not pursuing the creative gifts I was given has wounded me somehow. Recovering that balance is going to be hard to do, but I feel it is necessary.

Experiencing joy is virtually impossible when you spend most of your time hiding from it.

Of Pigs and Pearls

A few years ago, I toyed with the idea of participating in a local group blogging effort. This group (which never got off the ground), would focus primarily on politics at both the national and state level. Part of the reason I ended up declining the opportunity had to do with the lack of time in my schedule. To be of value and interest, a political blog needs to be up-to-the-minute and current with the day's events. I knew that I could never devote the time necessary, and honestly, why bother when there are several quality political blogs already out there encompassing all points of view. Indeed, it is daily reading for me, and anything I would end up posting would ultimately point back to what someone else already said. My posts may occasionally touch on the political, but rather than diving into the fever swamps, I would rather attempt to try to put things in a broader context of what events say about us, our history, and our future as a society. I make no apologies for being independent, quasi-libertarian, fiscally conservative, pro-life, and anti-death penalty in my views.

I confess to being absolutely stunned by what we are witnessing in our Nation's Capitol. Congress is running at a fever pitch to pass bills they haven't read, spellchecked, or analyzed. With seemingly no thought for the consequences to our economy and our standard of living, they seem to be driving recklessly headlong into a fiscal nightmare. Our government is binging on power and money, the future be damned. Where is the wise leadership, the thoughtful deliberation of solutions for real problems, honest but respectful debate? If one political party is to control all arenas of government, you would think they'd want to make wise decisions with thought to the future in order to maintain that trust indefinitely. What is the hurry, unless they truly fear the debate and/or revelation of an unpopular agenda? The voices out there are warning of socialism and the sort, but I'm not ready to jump off that cliff and presume I know their intentions. America's ultimate decline is inevitable - that's the history of human civilization - but right now I sense we have the foot on the gas pedal trying to accelerate the outcome.

Is there no one interested in knowing and understanding the truth? Basic logic, common sense and knowledge seem to be lacking - spend money to keep from going bankrupt? What is that all about? And the majority of folks don't seem to care. They remain oblivious, or maybe resigned to whatever happens. People have gone to the race, they've picked their horse, and no amount of reason or argument will get them to think with an open mind. They will stay with that horse until they decide they want a new one. The system is so tainted and so cynical, it’s a wonder that there are any genuine, authentic people at all serving in public office. And despite the saturation of political coverage in last year's campaign, the genuine excitement in some quarters and genuine dread in others - I get the feeling that the masses are largely ignoring it all. Until it touches them personally - and eventually a bad economy will touch everybody - they are going to continue to tune it out. And even then, few will educate themselves on the issues sufficiently enough to have a well-informed opinion. Because in our American Idol culture, it’s all about the personalities.

I know America will continue for decades to come. Our history has demonstrated periods of national angst and social upheaval before. For my generation, maybe we're due for a major downturn to shake us out of our comforts. But for all its predictability, I remain amazed at our capacity for self-destructive behavior and ignorance. To coin the phrase - the truth is out there. But it's falling on deaf ears.

An Ache for Simplicity

It is a rare occurrence to find myself the first one awake on a Saturday morning, especially with two young boys in the house. The sun is up, there’s a light breeze tickling the leaves. The heat of the day is still to come, but right now it is fairly pleasant. It is quiet now – which likely won’t last long once the children awake. But I enjoy the moments of silence and peace when they come.

I ache for simplicity in ways I cannot even begin to count. It is not so much that I am too busy – everyone is – but rather I fear that I am wired in such a way that simplicity is too difficult a discipline to master. My mind is always working, seeking to understand why things are the way they are, why people act the way they do, and anticipating likely outcomes. In some ways, this is a gift, because it allows me to analyze a situation and strategize multiple outcomes, thereby navigating with care the choices and leadership decisions I make. Yet in other ways, it is not so much a gift, because there doesn’t seem to be an “off” switch. At times, I have an overwhelming impulse to make things right, or at least better. This, however, takes an extraordinary amount of energy – emotional, physical and spiritual. And when I fail, or fall short, frustration and anger tend to follow.

I find myself convinced that the joy I have been seeking all my life – the pure joy of living – is found in a perspective grounded in simplicity. How one manages the burdens of responsibility while maintaining a spiritual attitude of simplicity in matters of faith and daily living, I really don’t know. I’d love to figure that one out.

Nevertheless, it is quiet now. I’m still the only one awake. Time to cast my burdens and listen.

Maintenance

Given the infrequency at which I update this blog, you’d be hard pressed to believe that my passion is to write. Indeed, every time I sit down to craft a post, I end up tinkering with the design and layout of the site instead. I have a few new designs in various stages of completion, but none that I am completely happy with as yet. Perhaps I’ve fallen into the trap of thinking that once I have my setup “perfect,” I’ll be able to write.

It’s the same with trying to maintain the house. I am indeed blessed with a decent house and acreage. But maintaining the yard, landscape and living space is a constant struggle. There are any number of uncompleted projects awaiting my time and attention. Balancing family and job generally doesn’t leave much time for anything other than the bare necessities of home maintenance. Yet I keep thinking that once I get A and B done, then I can do C and D, which will make things so much better. But so often, A and B never quite get done. So I end up settling for bare minimums of maintenance, and don’t move forward and produce.

Maintenance is important, to be sure. But so is progress. Avoiding the disillusionment that comes with lack of progress is hard for me. It affects my motivation to do maintenance. I find that to be true in many areas of my life. I wonder if it would be better to focus maintenance on those things that enable me to move forward, as opposed to that which doesn’t produce anything more than the status quo. Could it be that the most important things to maintain are those things which, in the end, enable me to produce and grow? There’s a spiritual discipline in there somewhere.

Maybe there is something to the motto that my brother-in-law once adopted from Walt Disney. “Keep moving forward.” Maybe I need to take that more seriously.

A Link in the Chain

I generally have little interest in the Hollywood scene, but if pressed to name my favorite actor, James Cagney would win the honor, hands down. Film critics and fans alike tout Cagney as one of the all-time greats. With origins as a song-and-dance man from Hollywood's early vaudeville roots, Cagney's characters brought to life the prototypical anti-hero. Indeed, Cagney was one of the early pioneers of the anti-hero genre, which I define basically as a scoundrel with just enough redeemable qualities to make you like him. To be sure, Cagney was very conscious about being typecast, and tried to branch out into other types of characters. But aside from Yankee Doodle Dandy, in which he played the estimable George M. Cohan, my all time favorite Cagney movies feature him in the role of the anti-hero.

More recently, I discovered a little known Cagney appearance from an old weekly television series called The Christophers. Still active today, The Christophers are an organization with Catholic roots whose mission is captured nicely in a simple motto: "It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness." In 1957, toward the end of his movie career, Cagney starred in an episode of The Christophers called "A Link in the Chain." He plays a professor who reflects on his life and whether he has made any difference. Over the course of 30 minutes, we see vignettes about 3 students who found the direction of their lives changed by this professor. Simply put, the professor provided timely encouragement and profound truth that revealed to each student that good could be done in this world, and lives could be made better because we choose to get directly involved - not in causes, but with real people. The episode reveals in time that we are all but links in a chain - the professor endeavored to light a candle and make a difference, because someone in his past had done so for him - an unspoken tradition that reaches back into human history. One generation inspires the next.

Conscious of my responsibility to my own children, I find myself at the place where the question seems to be "what next." I've experienced highs and lows in both career and ministry, yet I find myself hesitant to look behind at what was. Rather, I feel compelled forward, to use the gifts God has given me for something new - something that will continue to shape me into what I'm destined to become. And while it is tempting to believe that there is nothing new to share that hasn't been written or taught better by someone else, it is also clear that every generation has to have its voices. A broken chain is lost history, lost identity, lost purpose.

These generations are at risk. We have a responsibility to speak truth. But we must ensure that our voices bring light to real people - otherwise, we merely curse the darkness.
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We The People ...

Somewhere in time, there reigned in our collective conscience at least a fundamental understanding of the ideals behind our American experiment, enough to enable the constant state of soul-searching that defines so much of our history. We live in an age where the principles of the American concept are being challenged from within. Worse is the evidence that they are no longer even understood. In the noise of the always-on Information Age, it has apparently become politically incorrect to revere these principles and ideals; as if the advancement or evolution of this nation depends on putting "old" things behind.

Has it always been so? Is it intentional, or inevitable? In the 90's, I began thinking seriously about the attitudes I held toward the American institution of government and how they differed from what I remember thinking in my youth. Since 9/11, I have continued to observe, with great scrutiny, as the brief flare of American identity dissolved into the most prepubescent display of political discourse I've ever seen - not just from the political classes, but from "average" citizens. And with the results of the recent election, a part of me fears that the grown-ups are gone and the adolescents have taken over. Why do I fear? Because I'm not convinced that the ruling political class - of either party - have any fundamental grounding in the American principle. And I am convinced that a vast amount of American citizenry have never emotionally left Jr. High. Contrast the taunting display against President Bush as he entered the dais just prior to the inauguration of President Obama, and the singing of the "Kiss Him Goodbye" theme as he left the Capitol on Marine One. Seven years ago, crowds would greet President Bush with chants of "USA! USA! USA!" Yesterday, President Obama was greeted by a million-strong crowd with "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!" American pride exchanged for what appears to be a cult of personality.

What are these notions of honor, nobility, patriotism and principle? Are they doomed to a bygone and forgotten past, or do they still have voice? We the people ... have collective amnesia. There is a cure, but we have to take the medicine. And someone needs to administer it. But who?
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A Matter of Respect

Yeah, I know. I haven't posted anything all year. There are reasons for that, but I won't divulge them now. Let's just say that it has been a trying year.

Veteran's Day is approaching, and in that vein, I'd like to share an experience I had some years ago. My father was the keynote speaker at a banquet recently, and to my surprise, he shared my story. Please read, and remember those valiant men and women who to this day continue to serve and defend the United States of America.

I've done a lot of traveling over the last couple of years, perhaps not as much as some, but definitely more than others. But there was something special about today's flight from Baltimore to Atlanta.

It began conventionally enough. Full flight, crammed in the window seat on a beautiful January afternoon. The last man to board the plane was a soldier, Army, in dress uniform. Having flown on several flights with soldiers going to and from their deployment assignments, seeing a soldier on board wasn't so unusual. It didn't register right away that this was the first time I'd seen one in full dress on my flight.

I dozed off for a while, little thoughts dancing in mind about being home, burning leaves, seeing my family. Two straight weeks being away from home is still two weeks too long. Nevertheless, I'm proud of what I do, and sometimes I'm even good at it. But all of this was magnified even more as the pilot made his mid-flight announcement.

I stirred from my pseudo-nap to hear that we were flying at 22,000 feet into a 190mph headwind, that Atlanta was a lovely 50 degrees with a light south wind at 8mph, and that our arrival should be slightly ahead of schedule. I remember those details as clear as a bell, but to my great shame I would not remember the names mentioned when the pilot announced:

"We are honored today to be carrying home the remains of a soldier who served with honor and recently fell in Iraq. We ask that when we arrive in Atlanta that you remain seated, to allow the military escort on board to disembark first. We thank you for your cooperation."

Suddenly, I was wide awake. I can't tell you all of the thoughts that went through my mind, though I did experience that tingling feeling you get sometimes when you know that you are sharing a scene that sears itself on your very soul. The soldier on board was at the far back, and I debated with myself on how I could respond. Should I say thank you, should I start a round of applause as the escort worked his way up the aisle, or should I sit in quiet reverence? All of those options were quickly taken away, because the flight crew (smartly) escorted the soldier to the front as we were taxiing to the gate; he was past me before I could say anything at all.

Before I knew it, he was off the plane. I soon saw him standing quietly but attentively just below my window. I turned away to walk up the aisle, still wrestling with my thoughts, and in a sudden surge I spoke to the captain, "Thank you sir, for your show of respect." He acknowledged me, and I exited the plane.

Still dealing with the guilt of my inaction, I slowly but deliberately walked to a nearby window. I stood by that window in a loose posture of parade rest from my marching band days, and simply stood still. The soldier was standing below the plane, giving instructions to the luggage personnel who would be handling the coffin. His back was to me, but the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as the soldier suddenly came to attention and then to a salute. Moments later, a large white box with the words "HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE" emblazoned on the side came down the treadmill. The soldier examined the box, then immediately turned to the handlers, who in turn carefully turned the box 180 degrees. I don't know all the protocol, but clearly the box was positioned incorrectly. Soon, the handlers carefully loaded the box onto a luggage carrier. No sooner had they closed the plastic rain shield on the carrier than another white box, identical to the first, came down the treadmill. I took a quick breath, as I had only expected to see one, not two.

After the second box was loaded onto a carrier identical to the first, the military escort continued to discuss matters with members of Delta's handlers. Then he and a member of Delta's honor guard (complete with a vest emblazoned with the U.S. flag) walked away. I took a deep breath, and allowed myself to move a little, glancing at another fellow from my flight who was apparently doing the same thing I was. We nodded at each other, and looked back out the window. I stayed there at the window until the coffins were driven away.

I walked away, feeling strangely satisfied that I had done all that I could do. The soldier never saw me; I never saw a family member. Save for the other passenger standing at the window, no one else knew what I was doing. It is a matter of respect. Respect for those who serve, and have served; respect for those who paid the ultimate sacrifice; respect for the families of those who have fallen for the cause of freedom. And, just as importantly, I believe it is about respect for self. I give honor to Jesus, who paid the ultimate price that I might be eternally free. Likewise, I give honor to those who have enabled me to worship, to live, to love, and to excel in a land that claims freedom as its ultimate ideal. It is not about politics. You and I don't have to share an ideology. But for me, a simple show of respect to honor those fallen soldiers has allowed me the inner satisfaction of self-respect. I know who I am, and where I come from. I know to Whom I belong.

Respect for self and respect for others go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other.

To the families of those who have paid the price, my thanks, my prayers and my hopes for peace. Likewise to you, my friends and my family.

God bless,
Jim

Adagio

The past several months have found me deeply occupied by difficult challenges in a number of areas in my life, and thus little time for the pursuit of this budding little hobby. But the seas are beginning to calm, and the sunrises of North Alabama have been brilliant to behold of late, so here I return.

I have the joy of taking my sons to school every morning, and recently I've played some classical music CDs as we make the 25 minute drive. This morning, we listened to my favorite piece of music, Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber. My 8-year old spoke up about halfway through to say: "Dad, you know, some slow songs like this can make me feel sad, or sometimes give me comfort." So I asked how Adagio made him feel, and he replied, "Sad, mostly." Which, if you are familiar with the piece, was precisely the intent of the composer. I love teaching moments like this!

The wonderful mystery of music is that it can touch us on so many levels. Some melodies stay at the surface, while others penetrate deep within and touch those rooms in the heart that we've forgotten. Some music can mask our emotion, while some draws it out in a quite surprising fashion. I can listen to a great movie soundtrack and be completely absorbed in the moment, a la Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and The Mission. Imagine watching Field of Dreams, Pirates of the Caribbean or even Harry Potter without music. Music is written to engage our emotions, beyond the conscious mind. I can listen to Adagio, and without any images I can experience loss, grief and in the end, strength and resolution to go on in the span of 10 minutes. Perhaps this is a bit much for some people, but I find that the experience of music gives voice to those parts of us that need expression, even connection to the spiritual.

I love words, and my passion is to use words to pass on truth and to bring expression to the inexpressible without damaging the moment. A passion, sadly, I have neglected for 7 years. But sometimes, I wish I could trade it all for the gift of enriching others through musical or artistic composition. I'm glad God gave us those kinds of people, though.

After all, the human soul needs a melody.