A Portrait of Me

The soft scuffle of tennis shoes across long-abandoned railroad ties fills the silence between the gentle northern breezes. With each step, a light crunch of gravel can be heard, and even the occasional pebble striking the rusty iron rail rings its tone. A cold sun hangs in the sky, the promise of a spring not yet come. Brown weeds sway stiffly in the wind, lifeless or dormant, it remains to be seen. Up ahead, between two ties and just outside the rail, a flash of light catches my eye. A stray leaf scuttles past me as I reach down to pick up this treasure which, like me, seems very out of place here. Indeed, for I hold in my hand now a key ...

And so began the introduction to a collection of writings I began 4 years ago, a writing project that never reached the first chapter. Here's more:

I’ve often wondered whether I would ever start a project such as this, for as much as I adore the inner world and the miracle of the written word, I’ve a fear that the richness within will fade as it is brought out into this temporary realm. I love to write, and I love to teach. I even enjoy sharing with others the story of God’s hand upon my life. But to lay out the scroll of my heart for all to see, not knowing myself that which is writ upon it, well, I must admit to a feeling of trepidation. Yet I also know, somehow, that it is necessary. I believe that within every human soul there lives a desire to know and to be known; to love and be loved; to serve and be served. (This is not an original thought, of course).

A simple key can capture the imagination unlike any other talisman. A key unlocks locks. It unlocks doors. A key can inspire mysteries and unleash marvelous epiphanies. I have keys whose purposes have been long forgotten. I’ve lost access to more than a few doors and files due to keys that have sprouted legs and walked away, never to be seen again. Whether in literature or in our everyday lives, we all have keys. Secret passwords, PIN numbers, access codes, booby-trapped floors where you can only step on the letters that spell out the word Jehovah (in Latin, mind you, Jehovah starts with an “I”): there are all sorts of keys. But unlike Raiders of the Lost Ark, when it comes to unlocking what lies within, we can’t depend on Indiana Jones to safely navigate us through the danger zones of the inner man. But only one key, Truth, can open the right doors and enable us to see clearly what must be seen.

I wrote this during a time in my life where I genuinely feared that those closest to me were actually the ones who knew me least. Everyone, despite any protestations to the contrary, needs an outlet of self-expression - to be known. But for others to know us, does it not also imply a need to know ourselves?

While every person has both value and stories worth telling, writing down my “life story” is not my intent. My purpose here is to share with you what I learn about my own self, so that you will better know me as well. And I know that what you will find will not be wasted, nor in vain; in the presence of Truth, we are never left unaffected.

For my wife, my children, and my parents and my brother then, I invite you to sit back and ponder this portrait of me.

Alas, beyond the quotes below, I never added another word to this beginning. And that is regrettable. Not because I have such a compelling story, but rather because we live in a day and age where the stories of our heritage are fading from remembrance - simply because those stories are not told. We are far too distracted by the wonders of the modern age that consume our energies. Indeed, I confess my own guilt. And in that example, what is the legacy I leave behind? Is the portrait of my life limited to 2 dimensions? Or can the depth of the human soul be revealed in all its colors, bright and dark, so that true "knowing" can occur?

“It is the greatest good for an individual to discuss virtue every day … for the unexamined life is not worth living.”

“Know thyself”

-- Socrates

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

-- Romans 12:3 (NIV)

That, indeed, is the key.

A Portrait of Me: The Key
A Portrait of Me: River Walk
A Portrait of Me: Journey's Dawn
A Portrait of Me: I Am Prodigal