Wait, I Thought They Were "Holiday Trees"

With all of the other events in the news, you might not know it, but Christmas trees are all the rage. First, from the files of political correctness, I bring you the Wisconsin governor:

On Monday, Walker decided that he wanted to shake things up a bit. Rather than following recent tradition and referring to the (Christmas) tree that is placed in the Wisconsin’s Capitol Rotunda as a “holiday tree,” he’s changing course. For the past 25 years, lawmakers have referred to the evergreen that is decorated with ornaments and a star with this benign, uncategorized reference. Now, Walker plans to, once again, call the tree what it is — a Christmas tree.

But when asked, spokesman Cullen Werwei confirmed that the decision was intentional. “It’s a Christmas tree,” Werwei said. “In all honesty, I don’t know what more to say about it.” In the Charleston Daily Mail, Don Surber echoed this sentiment, writing, “Republican Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin just ended 25 years of stupidity.”

Yet ironically, not even the federal government seems all that bent out of shape in calling a Christmas Tree a Christmas Tree. From the "I want a taxpayer subsidized government job in marketing holiday wares" category:

In the Federal Register of November 8, 2011, Acting Administrator of Agricultural Marketing David R. Shipman announced that the Secretary of Agriculture will appoint a Christmas Tree Promotion Board. The purpose of the Board is to run a “program of promotion, research, evaluation, and information designed to strengthen the Christmas tree industry’s position in the marketplace; maintain and expend existing markets for Christmas trees; and to carry out programs, plans, and projects designed to provide maximum benefits to the Christmas tree industry” (7 CFR 1214.46(n)). And the program of “information” is to include efforts to “enhance the image of Christmas trees and the Christmas tree industry in the United States” (7 CFR 1214.10).

To pay for the new Federal Christmas tree image improvement and marketing program, the Department of Agriculture imposed a 15-cent fee on all sales of fresh Christmas trees by sellers of more than 500 trees per year (7 CFR 1214.52). And, of course, the Christmas tree sellers are free to pass along the 15-cent Federal fee to consumers who buy their Christmas trees.

Strengthen the Christmas tree industry's position in the market? What, there's competition? Must be the artificial tree market. Taxing real trees in an effort to get people to buy real trees seems like a winner to me. Yeah, that'll work.

Furthermore, if the federal government officially recognizes the evergreen on display in November and December as a Christmas tree, then once and for all can we not dispense with the whole "holiday tree" nonsense? Fred Gailey, call your office.

Ah yes, Christmas is in the air.

UPDATE: Within two hours of my post, the Obama administration elects to delay the dreaded Christmas tree tax.