Bridging Over

Last night was a big night for my oldest son, in that he "bridged over" from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts in a brief ceremony during the Pack's year-end banquet. Having joined Scouts in the 2nd grade, my son completed four years of Wolf, Bear and Webelos work to set the stage for his achievement.

We got him started in Scouts for a couple of reasons. First, because a friend from church was the cubmaster for a local pack. Second, we felt that it would be a good opportunity for him to develop new friendships with other boys, and to provide a good environment to pick up some important values. Finally, it gave me a chance to create some common ground and shared experiences with my son. We will have memories of camping, derby cars, projects, and character teaching moments to treasure.


This year, the Boy Scouts are celebrating 100 years as an organization. In today's society, there are some who tend to think that the program is passé, but frankly, I find that it resonates with me. And thus, anything that helps me reinforce such values in my children is a good thing. From the Values:

Scouting is a values-based program with its own code of conduct. The Scout Oath and Law help instill the values of good conduct, respect for others, and honesty. Scouts learn skills that will last a lifetime, including basic outdoor skills, first aid, citizenship skills, leadership skills, and how to get along with others. For almost a century, Scouting has instilled in young men the values and knowledge that they will need to become leaders in their communities and country.

The Scout Law calls on boys and young men to be Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent. The Oath calls upon these Scouts to do their best, serve God and Country, to obey the Scout Law, help others, and to stay physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight. These are the values that I myself should aspire to, and the kinds of values I hope my sons will aspire to as they pursue their own paths in this life. Most certainly, I cannot by any means force such values upon my children, but by exposing them to these ideals, it becomes my hope and prayer that they will adopt them for themselves.

My son's transition to Boy Scouts marks the beginning of his coming of age. Whereas with Cub Scouts, the adult partner or parent plays an active role in helping the Cub Scout reach achievement, the Boy Scout takes responsibility for himself. The recognition and advancement he pursues now must come on his own initiative and effort. I can be nearby, but eventually he needs to take ownership of his progress. It is up to him how far he wishes to go in this program. Indeed, the decision to continue in scouting has always been his. As a proud father, I will support him.

As marked by the ceremony, the bridging over has consequences for me as well. As I watched my son cross the bridge and exchange his Webelos insignia for that of the Boy Scout, as the parent I was made to stay on the other side. In a way, it may be that this marks the beginning of my own coming of age - in that slowly but surely, I need to start letting go. A few weeks ago, my son and I joined other Webelos in a 7.5 mile hike in near the southern reaches of the Cumberland. On the trail, I purposefully lagged behind, to allow my son the freedom to go his own pace. There were several times during that 6 hour trek that he was out of eyesight. The trail at times was only 1.5-2 feet wide at best, with a sharp drop-off to a rocky, rushing creek. I confess to having some anxious moments crossing over those treacherous spots on the path, sometimes even scanning the rocks below, knowing that somewhere up ahead my son had already passed by.


Nevertheless, my son outpaced me the entire hike, and he did just fine. Indeed, he seemed exhilarated. Occasionally, he would stop and wait for me so that we could walk together. But more often than not, he yearned to go ahead, and I let him. I will have to get used to this, to be sure. I need to figure out how to remain an active part of his life while at the same time backing far enough away to allow him the freedom to explore and chart his own path. He is still young, of course, so there is more parenting for me to do along the way. But without a doubt, he is ready to be allowed some room to grow.


I can only do what I can, but I also need to learn when not to do some things. I can only hope and pray that he will grow into the person God wants him to be, and that he will find joy in the journey.

Meanwhile, my younger son is just getting started, having completed his first year in Cub Scouts. With him, I still have some more time. Time for creating common ground and shared experiences, and character-teaching moments. Moments not just for him, but for me as well.


What a Boy Needs:

Ten Needs of a Boy

1. To climb a mountain and look afar.
2. To sit around a campfire with good friends.
3. To test his strength and his skills on his very own.
4. To be alone with his own thoughts and with his God.
5. To be ready to reach out and find the hand of an understanding man ready and willing to help.
6. To have a code to live by – easily understood and fair.
7. A chance to play hard just for the fun of it – And to work hard for the thrill of it.
8. To have a chance to fail – and know why.
9. To have and to be a good friend and a chance to prove both.
10. To have a hero – and a vision to measure him by.

After the tenth need is said, the following could be said:
In Cub Scouting these needs are not always filled for each boy. What Cub Scouting does is to put each boy on a path where he can travel the world in his backyard and fulfill his needs with confidence in himself and others.