Summer's Too Short

Summer's too short. No, I'm not talking about the weather, especially since we continue to "enjoy" 100+ degree heat indices - and have been since June. My boys start back to school next Wednesday, the first week of August. By the time they walk through the doors to a new year of intellectual expansion, they will have had only a mere 9 weeks of "summer vacation."

Somehow, this just doesn't seem right to me. Granted, our school system schedules a week-long "fall break" in October, and a longer December holiday break than I remember having. Nevertheless, I regret the quick passage of a summer that affords me so little time to craft distinctive memories for my family.

My recollection may be faulty, but my early adolescent summers were highlighted by week-long Minnesota fishing trips, outside adventures (all day, be home in time for dinner affairs), long bike rides on country roads just to go bowling at the base bowling alley, little league, swimming, reading and whatever else I could do to fill the time. I don't recall complaining severely about "being bored," although I'm sure I probably did (my parents likely have a very different recollection about this point). Summer was about freedom and fun; each day was a new opportunity. Yes, clearly my glasses have a rose tint to them.

In talking with my wife, and with other parents, the biggest concern (and guilt factor) seems to be an ever increasing tendency to over-program our kids. Aside from the school year, my children do Scouts, piano, karate, and baseball. Their summer days are also programmed through a summer holiday care facility, as we are a dual-income household. Sure, they get to do fun activities, but it's all a part of the program. And we do take annual vacations as a family, but these are usually targeted for fall break, with each day scheduled fairly tightly. I honestly think one of our highlights this year was a simple weekend at a hotel about 40 minutes from home. That weekend had no real plan, just relaxing in the room, swimming in the hotel pool, and a restaurant meal or two. We've tried to squeeze in a few family movie nights and family game nights as well.

I'm certain that all those parenting books and articles that I don't take time to read likely have advice on this point. But what I've concluded is this: the reason my kids are over-programmed is directly attributable to the fact that I, myself, am over-programmed. I have beaten whatever spontaneity I have left into whimpering submission to the callous calendar of responsibility. In my parenting, I focus too much on creating experiences for my children, instead of giving them the freedom to create them for themselves. What they need are relationships, and room to learn how to cope with their own unique challenges.

I can't do anything about the school calendar. But perhaps there is a balance that can be struck. De-programming doesn't have to mean complete detachment or becoming uninvolved. My children still need me around, I'm sure. The truth is, however, they probably need me a little less.

That will be a difficult adjustment for me. The teenage years are right around the corner, though, so I suppose I'd better start sooner rather than later. Still, like so many other things in life, summer is just too short.