Journey's Dawn

There is a strange dichotomy that afflicts me, riding along these open county roads. It is one that features both peace and lonely isolation. It is as timeless as the day is short, with nothing but the April breeze and the hum of 10-speed tread upon the asphalt. I am alone on the planet, needing to go not where I've been, but rather somewhere I have never been. I am stunned, uncertain how to react to the experience. I have to keep moving, but where? Up ahead lies a road I've never explored, and never felt compelled to survey. Until now.

I turn my eyes to the east, my back to the lowering sun, and take in the new surroundings as they pass by. New, alien, and barren. Remains of winter wheat rustle quietly as the slightest of winds brush across the landscape. I lift my eyes to the hills, such as they are (where does my help come from?). But there is nothing. I am alone on the planet, alone in my mind, and strangely calm in this most unusual of moments. Calm, but seeking, something. Anything. Answers to questions this newly awakened mind is unable to fully form.

Up on the left, a small building appears, standing a ways off the road. Markers are lined up in haphazard rows beside what is revealed to be a church. Lutheran, or so says the sign. I consider pressing on, but with the light beginning to ebb, and the main road that leads home out of sight, I turn in and come to a stop on the dirt lot 10 feet from what I suppose is the front door. The siding is weather worn and dirty, but the humble façade has a quaint appeal to this wandering soul. A cacophony of voices and emotions burst through my brain and just as quickly cease, as if they never were. No one is in sight, a realization that at first terrifies, as peace departs to leave only the isolation. I lean the bike against the fence, and walk toward the door, fearful of making any noise lest I be discovered. Irrational fear maybe, but caution nonetheless.

In that timeless moment, I stood silently before the door. I watched in wonder as my hand extended itself to the weathered handle with the thumb latch, only to be disappointed in the effort. Without warning, my hand came up again, knocking loudly on the locked white barrier keeping me from, from what I don't know. I waited and waited, but access to this solitary sanctuary remained closed. I am alone on the planet, but now, I feel lost. I bowed my head, inwardly pleading, praying to Someone I didn't know, a prayer devoid of words but full of need, and not just for myself. I sensed no response, no answer, no understanding. Just empty winds blowing across my face at the dawn of twilight. I made the effort, and maybe I was heard, but for now the burden was on me. Time to go.

I need to get home, before the darkness without matches the shadow within. There is a long drive ahead of us tomorrow, and I need to get ready.

"For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." (Romans 8:20-21)

A Portrait of Me: The Key
A Portrait of Me: River Walk
A Portrait of Me: Journey's Dawn
A Portrait of Me: I Am Prodigal